Lee said he was leaving.
After a year of patient understanding he had had
enough. He drove off in the car and said he would be back later to
pick up his things.
Jackie could not make him homeless. Not that. After
all, she knew it was all her fault. She quickly packed a bag for
herself, left a note on the table and walked away.
Lee might have had enough of Jackie's
uncontrollable moods, but so had Jackie.
Jackie had suffered depressive mood swings all her
life. They had become so regular that she knew the moment she opened
her eyes on a Sunday morning the world would be a dark, hopeless place
- "it was awful. And it would last all day,
whatever I did". And then in the evenings, during the week, the
same overwhelming sadness and anger would pounce from nowhere and
leave her incapable of constructive communication for an hour at a
time - "it was all directed at myself and would go round and
round in an endless circle, which I simply could not break".
There had been a time, as a girl, that she could
escape across the fields on her horse until it passed, but now she had
a partner, whom she loved and with whom she had every intention to
remain. The inexplicable depressions had become centred on Lee -
"he was sociable, happy, he enjoyed life, knew who he was. I was
introverted and unsociable - everything he wasn't. In these deep, dark
moods I would turn it all on him, turn it all against him. I could see
what I was doing to us and would say that I would get help - I knew I
needed it - but then the mood would pass and I'd do nothing".
As their first anniversary approached, both Jackie
and Lee had to admit her depressive moods were getting worse and worse
- "I could see what it was doing and it had got to the stage of
my hating myself - I wanted to stop - but I couldn't do it - not by
When the day came that Lee said he would leave and
drove off in the car, Jackie decided, as she packed her own bag, that
it was time to do something.
"I went to my doctor, but had to see the
locum. He did not know anything about me and just handed over a
prescription for antidepressants. I could not believe that was it -
pills! Lee was against it too, so I flushed them down the loo.
"I went back to the doctor and he told me to
see a therapist. He recommended one, so I made an appointment...never
have I been so upset or distraught in my life! Whilst keeping a
careful eye on her watch the whole time, she made me dig over and over
the past - would not let it go. I had to live and relive it. And then
my time was up and she left me to try to pick up the mess she had
created! It was a total waste of time and money."
Jackie and Lee were running up such high phone
bills that she moved back to be with him - "determined, with his
full support to search out the help I desperately needed".
Through a client, Lee heard of the Listening Centre
which was about to open in Lewes. Jackie agreed to give it a go.
Jackie has now had two sessions at the Listening
"I spent the first week walking on air! I went
from utterly depressed and hopeless to feeling that life was
wonderful! That first Sunday of the treatment, I woke up without any
depression! The first time in years!
"The second week was more difficult. I felt
more emotional, less stable, full of doubts - but I stuck with it to
"The weeks between the first and second
sessions were calm, with only a few 'drifts' towards mood swings - but
this tie I seemed to instinctively know what to do to break the cycle
and get myself out of them. I kept thinking of Patrick de la Roque's
words at the Listening Centre: 'Think only of the future and work
towards it, do not indulge the past, but rather let it loose its hold
and leave it far behind'.
"The second session was just great. Smooth,
peaceful, relaxed. And everyone so friendly! I loved coming every day!
What a difference to that counsellor, when I'd come away so immersed
in myself and my past. From the Listening Therapy, I was going home elated! The
contrast was amazing!
"The changes in myself had great effect:
within a couple of weeks, I had left my job - the one I had hated for
eight years. I was full of a new courage, a new confidence in myself,
which allowed me to think more clearly - clearly enough to make a big
change and leave behind one major source of stress and unhappiness.
"And then I became pregnant! Lee and I were
over the moon. Within another week, I had a new and even better job!
It could not have been better.
"A friend who had known me since I was sixteen
admitted she used to think of me as a spoilt little brat - I am an
only child - but she can see that I am so changed, free of those awful
moods. We are now best friends and has agreed to be the godmother of
"Of course, Lee sees the difference. He says
we have become a partnership and that I am now his soulmate.
"There has been a marked change in the way I
see my parents too, since the Listening Therapy. I can face them
better. I can look at them as equal adults, not as controlling,
superior beings. And, in turn, their attitude towards me has changed.
"And my baby now wakes up and reacts to
Mozart, even on the telly - and I can feel that he is thoroughly
enjoying it! I am also doing a Listening Therapy session for my pregnancy. Women
on the Continent do pre-natal Listening Therapy during their eighth month, as it
has been shown, through controlled studies, to reduce labour by almost
half, give far more relaxed births and result in notably more
responsive, reactive and alert babies. We shall have to wait and see!
"I am often asked if I could recommend the
treatment - well, yes I could! You must approach with an open mind and
not expect or demand miracles. Sometimes the changes happen in areas
you least expect or watch for.
"For me the Listening Therapy has had a great
effect. And I want everyone to share it! Through it I can live.
Through it I can enjoy life!